We cut backstage, where Paul Boulet is standing impatiently in front of a certain imposing wooden door, on which reads “Mr. Sensation, grand poobah of OCW” in gold leaf. He knocks loudly.
Mr Sensation: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I WAS JUST HOPING YOU’D GO AWAY.
Boulet coughs.
PB: Ah, non, I must speak to you about the main event.
Mr. Sensation: Yes, it’s gonna be on the richter scale. Or maybe on illicit websites after it airs. I dunno what’s wrong with people these days.
PB: Mais, il y a un problème, I am not in it…
Mr. Sensation cracks the door open.
Mr. Sensation: And you are?
PB: Paul Boulet. You know… I fought Telos… big TV ratings…Former Champ....
Mr. Sensation: Oh the Canadian man with the large breasts! Congrats on breaking our Youtube Channel, youtube dot com slash ocwfedtv. Maybe you and Marisa should team up and you can be Heavy Duty or something.
Boulet: …
Mr.Sensation: Wonderful chat now go away. I’m trying to drink my way to forgetting that obsessed insane child who beat up my babygirl at OCW 19. Page 2, Page 2...Page 2 Go F yourself!!!!
PB: Wait! I have all these signatures! All of these people, most of them voluntarily, said how wrong it was that I was not included in the chest meat themed invitational triple threat!
Mr. Sensation: Most of them voluntary?
He mutters.
Mr. Sensation: What are you on about…
He puts on his reading glasses and grabs the clipboard. His eyebrows raise as he reads the top two names and he fixes Boulet with a look like a father who knows it’s not kosher to spank their child in a Walmart anymore but really wants to.
Mr. Sensation: First of all, you’re not in the main event because I don’t even know who you are! As we established previously in this conversation.
Boulet: But you just said who I was…
Mr.Sensation Continues!
Mr.Sensation: Yea Yea and “The Rip Tide” isn’t just a tepid version of “THAT’S SENSATIONAL”
Boulet:… Are we still talking about me or are talking about oceanic currents now???
Mr.Sensation: And anyone who calls it a “Rip Tide” is a F****ing Moron!!
Boulet squints and scratches his beard as Mr.Sensation is lost in thought. He notices Boulet once again.
Mr.Sensation:......Why are you still here? Furthermore maybe you should watch the damn match and see why they are where they are, pal!.
Mr.Sensation: Also, RYU signing your petition means even if you WERE in the Main Event, I would just VOID IT! Because that man has worse judgment than Electronic Arts. Now, for the final time, leave mine office in peace!
Mr. Sensation slams the door, leaving Boulet to curse up a storm… in french, of course, because the censors are too lazy to look those up. He dashes the clipboard against a wall and stomps off in a rage while we can still hear the CEO shouting about Rip Tides!
BIG MEATY TRIPLE THREAT! IJITU QUARTZ vs. MARK REESE vs. WREX
