We now go outside the arena as we see Big Ed and Gentleman Jack approaching the building. They're decked out in their Gentleman's Club t shirts, jeans, gold chains, and sun glasses. They look like they just stepped out of the Atlanta Gold Club circa 1997. The two men appear as if they haven't gotten a full night of sleep in days, yet their cocky demeanor remains.

Big Ed: Wait, aren't we supposed to be visiting sick kids or something equally stupid?

Jack: Well if we didn't waste the last three days at Vagina's R Us getting over that Asylum conspiracy, then sure. But here we are.

Big Ed: Think Tank will show?

Jack: Hell no. I guarantee you he's back to blowing guys for crack. He thought he was just going to come back and these savages would great him with open arms? This isn't AA, it's OCW. Jesus let's put that on a t shirt and retire.

Big Ed: You really think he's that big of a coward?

Jack: No, I just think he's that weak. He never thought he'd come back to have to face a freak of nature like you. He thought they'd just hand him the keys to the castle like last time. Ha!

As the men open the door to the arena, they're greeted by a nameless production assistant.

PA: Ed, Jack, just the gentlemen I want to see. I have bad news.

Jack: They found Tank's dead body on a playground didn't they? I always knew he was a pervert... Bet he went there to molest a couple of children and then died from sun exposure. Poor bastard... Well we better send flowers to his family.

PA: What? No, he just no showed. No big deal, he always does this.

Big Ed: What do you think happened to the little guy?

Jack: Some jackass probably told him to kill himself. This world is sick ya know.

Big Ed: So what about me? What about the main event?

PA: Oh, no worries gentlemen! It's now a triple threat match!

Jack: Hawt!

At this point, Jack smacks the clipboard out of the PA's hand and rips off the poor man's headset. Big Ed grabs the poor soul and effortlessly flings the man out of the door. The continue to walk down the hall to their dressing room as if nothing happened.

Big Ed: Like my chances?

Jack: Hells yeah. Jackson Mont Gum Airy is probably more hung over than you. And Malu? That fat bastard is two cheeseburgers and a wife beater away from being Samoa Bill Ding. He'll drop dead in the middle of the ring before becoming champion. This is your destiny big man, not theirs.

The two men reach their dressing room and begin to settle in and unpack.

Big Ed: So what do we do about Tank? We've looked all over the city for him. Now he won't even show up to work.

Jack: If he ever has the balls to show up, we'll be waiting for him. Until then, you keep dominating in the ring, and I'll keep working the backstage area. I think it's time we grow our ranks a little. I know the rest of the Turmoil roster can't be as blind and stupid as Tank.

Big Ed: And if they are?

Jack: Then we destroy them. You've already pinned the current champion and have a former one pissing himself in a dark alley. I'm not too worried. This is our time, whether they like it or not. You just get ready for another main event. I'm going to see if I can find that peyote I stole from Versus' locker room at Savage Lands...

Big Ed: Just be careful this time...

Jack: Don't worry about me, just make sure you don't get pinned again.

Big Ed: And if I do? You going to threaten me with more sick kids?

Jack: Not a threat. If you get pinned again we're taking a Make A Wish kid with us everywhere for a week. That should teach you responsibility.

Big Ed: You know a dying kid is harder to take care of then a puppy don't ya?

Jack: Could you take care of a puppy?

Big Ed: No...

Jack: Then what's the big deal? Learning experience all around! Now help me found that peyote! I know it's in here somewhere...

Our scene closes as the self proclaimed most entertaining men on Turmoil seek to find their stash of stolen narcotics. Will Big Ed win another main event or be forced to take care of a dying child for a week? Will Tank ever get the sand out of his vagina? Stay tuned to Turmoil and all of Rush TV to find out!

The camera pans to the announce team.

	I wonder if the Gentlemen club would make me a member?
	You're not cool enough.

	Eh?
	Main event time!

(Triple Threat/Non Title)

Big Ed

vs

Jackson Montgomery (c)

vs

Malu

The camera pans to the announce team.

	That was a big win, he has sent a message tonight.
	...

IT AINT OVER JUST YET!