Jackson Montgomery wakes up quickly, grabs his gun, and points it frantically all around him, except what he held was not a gun. It was something resembling a gun made of cardboard and old Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans. A few people who were in the room with him at the homeless shelter were shocked at first, but then quickly dismissed the deranged former soldier.
As his vision began to clear and Jackson was coming to his senses, a dark figure walked up to him, blocking out the light coming from the rattling ceiling fan above.
Man: Jackson Montgomery. Time to get you out of here and cleaned up. I need you to come back. OCW needs you to come back. Most of all Turmoil needs you to come back.
Jackson stares up at the shadowy figure.
Jackson Montgomery: What do you mean? I am back. I’ve been back for a few weeks now.
Man: That was not the Jackson Montgomery we all know and came to love. We need the old Jackson Montgomery back.
Jackson shook his head to clear the cobwebs in his brain. He then stands to his feet, his ratty blanket falling to the floor. To no one’s surprise, the only article of clothing he had on was a pair of American flagged themed underpants.
Jackson Montgomery: The old Jackson Montgomery? I’ll see what I can do…
***
The Camera pans to a laboratory Ryu is standing confidently with his hands on his hips. A group of Trashleks dressed in lab coats surround him.
RYU: MY ESTEEMED COLLEAGUES!
The Trashleks look around at each other confused.
RYU: The GREATEST advancement in Trashlek Technology! The BCTU Line!
RYU: BIO CYBERNETIC TRASHLEK UNITS!
RYU: As you can see the line is divided into three submodels!
RYU: The Corpulent D6 Units! The diminutive and crafty, albeit entitled R-E Units and the Ones with Tets!
The camera pans to Ryu’s face as we can see him consider slapping the female BCTU unit on the posterior.
We then almost immediately see the memory of his past Sexual Harassment Lawsuit flash across his face as he thinks better of it.
RYU: Now! Off into the Multiverse! Get me that better hair!
The various BCTU units begin disappearing in brilliant flashes all around them.
Ryu walks over to a small box, which reads 55 Gallon Trash Bags, the trash on the label is crossed out and Betterness is written on it.
Ryu grabs a bag and holds it out, a brilliant flash emanates from inside as it almost instantaneously fills with brilliant golden Better hairs.
Ryu glares at the Lab Trashleks.
RYU: GET TO WORK DUMMIES!
The Trashleks scatter and pick up their own tra… Better bags as they seemingly fill themselves up.
We aren't a sci-fi show.
Don't tell him that. Oh wait why is Malu coming out?
Malu has a mic in hand and begins to speak
Malu: As of right now I am officially unretired. Given what I put into this place and to find out I gave up my career to some tr... no that would be disrespectful to Trash. To a cheat. I'll be damn if that's how I go out.
Malu holds his finger up.
Malu: I'm not done... How dare you Salmon Coat Rican! How dare you bring back the title that I made mean something, to represent the house that I built. The place that people talk about like they know something when they don't know sh*t.
Malu: How dare you bring it back without even consulting me. I haven't just been here keeping this place afloat while you sat in your cushy offices. Not only that but you don't have the decency to put me in the match to crown the interim champion? When I got cheated more than anyone on this roster!
Malu: I don't care who wins the match coming up next. Know that a target is on your back and sooner or later you're going to get what's coming. Just because I run Friday night doesn't mean I'm not going to earn it.
Malu: I'm the first CCW Champion and I'm going to be the next CCW Champion without the interim attached. So whatever plans you have to decide on the number contender Salmon Coat, know that my name better be attached. If it's not you'll have an angry brotha on Riot after you're head, and a hungry Samoan over here. Believe that!
Malu walks to the back.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Big words from the GM. But, now the one we've been wait for.
