The night rolls on, and into a rarely scene place, the hallowed halls of the church of Kasstianity, empty, save for the noise of the building itself, and a lone occupant, a very.. Unexpected one, Wrex, looking around, between the room and his phone, confused.
Wrex: The Kasstian Church.. Christ this place still makes me want to throw up.. Where’s the communal wine when you need it.
It doesn’t take long for a second unexpected visitor, although one holding a lot more memories to it than the first. H2O walks in…
H2O: Shouldn’t you be attending an AA meeting instead?
Wrex: AA is for people who can't handle their liquor, let me guess, you’re the reason I’m stuck standing here?
H2O: Yes. My brother went fishing with Spider so I came here to do the same. Looks like I found the blobfish that I was looking for.
Wrex: Harvey, the rules might be “no bloodshed” under this roof. But unfortunately for you, my bible is written on the back of a twelve pack of natty light, so unless you’ve got a /real/ good reason for this, I’m about to ruin the janitor's night.
H2O: Who are you now? “The Threat Hunter”. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Wrex looks.. Very unimpressed with the comparison.
Wrex: Promises I can't keep? I said you weren’t going to be a Tag Champ, and you lost the chance, I’ve never made a promise I couldn’t keep.
H2O: You’re too inebriated to make good decisions. Not only did you make an enemy out of the most dominant tag team, you decided to side with the devil.
Wrex: Enemy of thy enemy is.. A temporary ally, one that I’m still not too happy about.. But if there’s anyone who’d want to kick your head off..
Harvey rushes in close to Wrex and stands nose to nose with him.
H2O: He doesn’t do anything for anyone. He does it for himself. He is a mastermind and manipulator. Did you see any of his members here for his Hall of Fame party?
Wrex unfolds one arm and extends it forward to push Harvey away from him. Harvey looks down with the look of “audacity” written on his face. But he doesn’t give in to his emotion.
Wrex: Are you really trying to drive a wedge between Kassidy Hayes and I? Christ you must be dookieshoesting your britches more than when Pugh walks to a ring.
H2O: Whatever. Just know that my brother warned me about Kassidy Hayes and I didn’t listen. He can’t be trusted but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Wrex: You forget I was in the arena that night? The way I see it, you all turned on him. You can't plant seeds in the head of a man who already doesn’t trust his partner.. But.. Maybe your brother needs to worry more about you than us..
H2O: Looks like I have to throw your ugly ass back into the river with Nate Ortiz. There’s no getting through to you.
H2O leaves, with a few more choice words leaving out the door alongside him.
Wrex: Be careful what you wish for Harvey.. Things have a way of coming back around, I’m sure diving head first into the Hudson would feel a lot nicer than the concrete floor.
ROUND 3 - TURMOIL BLOCK
MARISA vs. HEATHER ANGELO
The camera zooms in on the Future Idiots in the ring as their music stops playing. The crowd cheering the duo. Both have mics in hand and John is still in a sling. John brings the mic up first as he begins to speak.
John: Oh boy it's nice to hear those cheers despite all the talk I have been seeing online the last few weeks.
After saying the line John takes a pause smirking at the camera. The crowd now giving a mixed reactions of cheers and boos.
John: That's more like the reaction I expected. Jordan I will let you take it from here.
As Jordan raises the mic up the crowd begins to cheer loudly again making the duo chuckle in the ring.
Jordan: You guys are awesome, this town honestly rocks. Look last week things didn’t go to plan, we thought you were going to get a Tag Title match, heck, so did we. Even with John having one arm and whatever it is that’s going on with his voice, I think he swallowed DuoLingo for real. What do you guys think of his new voice?
The crowd begins to boo causing Jordan to put his hand up. As he does they stop.
Jordan: I know, it confuses me too. Like… I need subtitles, but the thing about tonight is… We got to make it up to you, we gotta run last week back, so Perfect Sto-
He is cut off by Mass Effects music and we cut to the ramp seeing them making their way to the ring. The duo get into the ring mics in hand staring down the Future Idiots. Devon puts the mic up to begin to speak.
Devon: You people really wanted to see Perfect Storm vs Future Idiots?
The crowd cheers loudly
Ry: Well thats too bad then isn't it because you wont be seeing it for the Tag Team Championships because you are looking at the next champions!
John: Oh really well what makes you think you de-
Jordan puts his hand in front of John signaling him to stop talking which makes the crowd cheer.
Jordan: You can be the next champions all you want, because right now, right here, we are the reigning and defending champions! We will fight with everything we have, one arm, one leg, one eye, one head… It doesn’t matter… Well, maybe the last one does, but you get what I’m saying… You want some? Well come…
The crowd cheers at the fact we might see a match between the two teams. As their cheers die down, Grit and Glory's music hits.
They make their way to the ring getting inside. As they do the three teams exchange stares for a moment before RyVaughn tries to charge Chance.
Devon intercepts him by grabbing ahold of him and restrains him while calming him down. As things settle down Devon begins to speak, a smirk on his face.
Devon: Derek, you still work here?
This causes the crowd to laugh. Grit and Glory both look angry at the remark
Derek: Devon you still got no bitches? How original funny guy.
Chance: How exactly do you two deserve a chance at Future Idiots? WE were the ones to BEAT you! So like I’ve been saying, ONE. MORE. MATCH.
Ry: You guys just lost to the champs and Perfect Storm just lost to the champs too. Who else could be next.
John: Well we could fight The Lobby
Everyone gives John a dirty look
Everyone but John: Shut up John!
This causes the crowd to laugh
Jordan: Look, we’ll just fight both of you, at the same time!
John gives Jordan a dirty look
John: Are you crazy?
Jordan: Nah, if I was crazy I’d say let’s have a tables match.
A big smile comes across Jordan's face as you can see him getting excited.
Jordan: Wait, that's actually a good idea!
Ry: Well this pussy Chance loves chairs so much I would love to crush his skull with one! How about we add those to the mix.
Derek: We love ourselves some chairs, Jordan wants some tables, next logical step is ladders don’t you think boys?
John: Wow you speak? You are actually kind of smart that does make sense. But no way. I am still hurt no way I risk my career in such an unsafe match.
Jordan looks at John.
Jordan: Look man, since you got that new voice you’ve been a bit of a Debbie-Downer, not like a Deborah Soto, just kinda mean to be around.
Jordan:
You gotta stop this, this is the John no one wants to car share with, the John people want to drown in the toilet. We had these people tolerating you, and you want to throw that all away now… because… What?
Jordan:
You’re afraid of heights? Come on man, you don’t need to flip off of it! Let’s have the people help you out… Come on guys. TEE. ELL. CEE. TEE. ELL. CEE. TEE. ELL. CEE. COME ON!
The crowd chant TLC TLC TLC TLC as John's face turns red. John takes a few seconds as he looks like he’s thinking before going to respond.
John: You guys want TLC?
The crowd cheers loudly and a grin appears across his face
John: LET'S DO THIS!
Marisa is shown backstage walking vigorously to her locker room while holding her back after the intense match with Heather Angelo. She storms into the locker room and throws the towel that was draped around her neck against the wall in aggressive fashion.
She hears her phone notification tone going off rapidly. She hurries over to her purse and grabs her phone out of it. Checking it she scrunches her face and then rolls her eyes. Talking to herself she mutters..
MARISA: What the fluffernutter..
As we get a shot of her screen we can see multiple text messages from Mad Dawg Davis. Marisa swipes out of them and clicks a few buttons. Placing her phone on speaker she begins to listen to her voicemails. A familiar voice starts to sound.
Mad Dawg Voicemail: Aye Marisa, 1st thing, no I’m not drunk. Hit me back, it's important.
Mad Dawg Voicemail: Ok, so I lied on that last message. I’m drunk at again but listen listen. I’m serious. I got a major plan. MAJORRRRR. HIT ME BACK MA. Don’t know why I yelled that, or why I’m talking to myself while leaving a message.
Another voice message from Mad Dawg starts to play but Marisa quickly ends it. She takes a deep breath and scratches her head. Just then her phone begins to ring. She checks her screen that shows an incoming call from “Big Daddy”. She quickly answers it.
MARISA: Hey baby, how are you?
ICEMAN NATE MAC: ……………..
MARISA: Yeah thanks Big Daddy. You win some, you lose some.
ICEMAN NATE MAC: ………………..
MARISA: You always know the right things to say to cheer me up.
Suddenly Marisa starts to hear a beep in her ear.
MARISA: Hang on babe, someone’s beeping in.
She looks down on her phone to see it’s Mad Dawg. She sighs and grits her teeth.
MARISA: Daddy, lemme call you right back. It’s the office calling.
MARISA: Okay, love you too. Bye.
Marisa clicks over accepting Mad Dawg’s call.
MARISA: What!? What do you want, pest!? I was on the phone with my husband! Must you continue to blow up my phone!?
MAD DAWG DAVIS: Damn girl you a hard woman to get a hold of but listen listen please don’t hang up. Wait, did you say you was talking to Ice? How…how is he doing? How are you doing?
MARISA: Excuse me!? Don’t worry about it! The nerve. What do you want, Mad Dawg!? Ruin any other bags lately!?
MD: You know what Marisa fluffernutter YOU. You selfish BITCH! What the fluffernutter you want me to do!? What the fluffernutter you want me to say!? Don’t you think what happened to Ice affected more than just you! He wasn’t my target that match, Ryvaughn was, and I fluffernuttered up. I fluffernuttered up ok. That and a lot of other dookieshoes has been on my mind lately!
Mad dawg takes a breathe to calm down
MD: You know what. You’re emotional right now. I’m drunk. This ain’t the time to have this conversation. Call me later later so we can have a man and woman conversation and not this dog and bitch one that we having now.
Marisa pulls the phone away from her ear and looks at it shocked. She sees Mad Dawg hung up and shakes her head. She goes through her phone and calls Iceman back. After a few rings he answers.
MARISA: Y’know, Mad Dawg has got a lot of ner….
She stops herself mid sentence as she just then realizes she was supposed to be on the phone with the office.
ICEMAN NATE MAC: What?! Is that motherfluffernutterer still bothering you!? I don’t want you around him! I told you to stay away from him. What th…
MARISA: I know baby! I am. Don’t worry. Nothing happened. I will…..
The scene slowly fades out on a flustered Marisa trying to calm down and reassure a frustrated Iceman.
SUBMISSION MATCH
PAUL BOULET vs. EL PARCA
We return from the commercial to find that we’ve missed something - the entrance of the greatest pro wrestler ever to do it - what a disgusting disrespect, making him walk out while you’re showing a Papa John’s advert.
You know he’s a racist right? And the pizza is dookieshoese. Anyway, Turmoil 311 - Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Stacy Clark is getting ready to address the camera having hyped the crowd during the commercial. She’s joined by Captain of Ambition, Paul Pugh.
Stacy Clark: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to THE CLARK EFFECT, with me, Stacy Clark. This week I’m joined once again by OCW Hall of Famer Paul Pugh and Paul… last week DNS accepted the challenge - you must be pleased about that.
The Elbow Drop Elder looks her up and down as the crowd start a small Pugh, Pugh, Pugh chant. He smiles, nods in acknowledgement, and puts a microphone to his mouth
Pugh: You know what Stacy? I’m cock-a-hoop about it. Cock-a-*BLEEP*
The TV censor man is stirred by the word “cock” - immediately bursting into action and accidentally bleeping the wrong word for the folks at home. In the room, however, Pugh is continuing, knowing he’s caused some undue stress for America’s bible belt
Pugh: You know Stacy, its interesting. I’ve spent the last year with these guys - Bash and Bolek. As the man with the most jobs in OCW - Wrestler, Ambassador, Commentator and Manager of Ambition, in case you’re interested Stacy… Stacy, are you listening?
He shakes his head
Pugh: Stacy! I guess I’m asking you questions now. OK. Wrestler, Ambassador, Commentator, Manager of Ambition and the HOST of the Clark Effect… How do you feel about that New York? Maybe you guys will answer me instead?!
A pop radiates around the arena as the Dropkick Deity gets down to business
Pugh: Those two. DNS. Bolek. Bash. They’re standouts. They’re two of the brightest rookies to come through OCW in a decade - they get OCW. They get OCW in a way that most never do. Smart men. At least, I thought they were…
He scratches his nose and takes a deep breath
Pugh: When they tried to jump me on Ambition that week, see that… that was not smart.
He shakes his head
Pugh: In fact, that was one of the dumbest acts in a long time around here… Like I said last week - I get why they’d do it. If I were trying to make my mark on the current OCW landscape, I’d go for what I perceive to be a weak target.
Pugh: A ghost. A guy that ain’t got it anymore. The guy that comes around here every so often, takes a loss and goes back under his rock. The old guy who can’t defend himself… It’s a great idea… except. I am not that guy.
A more serious expression cuts across his face as he continues
Pugh: See, the people telling those ghost stories always leave out the important parts. They always leave out the part where I carried this company on my back during the downturn of 2012 and dragged it back to the very top.
Pugh: They always leave out the part where OCW was facing financial oblivion and I brokered the deal with RushTV to keep us alive. They always leave out the part where I came back and dominated three separate eras and won world titles in those three separate eras.
He smiles
Pugh: …and I know what you’re thinking - what have you done for me lately? And that’s a great question. But in my role as host of the Clark Effect, let me ask you that question. All of you. Back there in the locker room. What have YOU done for OCW lately?
He ruffles his hair and his expression cuts back
Pugh: See me? I came back and I had a spectacular match with two of the best this era has to offer - a match where I held my own, and I only lost because Harvey Ocean decided to hold my trunks - against the rules by the way… but what did you do? What’s the reason that I’m able to walk back into this ring and look better than you guys - Bash? Bolek?
He shrugs and leans against the ropes
Pugh: See this could be the part where I stand here and run you both down, and claim you’ll never reach my level - but that would be foolish. Because what I know about you guys is that you’re vicious - I know that you’re violent.
Pugh: I know that because I’ve stood back behind that curtain watching you both grow from fresh off-the-boat rookies into the standouts that we see today.
Pugh: I’ve seen you both take chances, steal spots and break bones. I don’t know what’s going to happen in Atlanta on Saturday. I don’t know what DNS has planned for us, but I can guarantee you this…
He looks dead down the camera
Pugh: Rust and I are ready. Experience trumps all. Countless world titles, countless main event experiences, you have not got anything that we’ve not seen before.
Pugh: We are the most decorated, most complete and soon-to-be most feared tag team in professional wrestling…The Lobby are on our way back to the top… we’re back on our way to Perfect Storm… You boys put yourself in between us and them… so now you’re going to pay for it.
He hands Stacy the microphone back and gets ready to leave
