We cut to the backstage area, just outside the curtain to see Stacy Clark in somewhat of a hurry
Stacy Clark: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to OCW Turmoil 311. With just 2 weeks before OCW’s next major Pay-Per-View event live on Twitch, North American Champion Viktor Karmine is set to defend his North American Championship against a mystery opponent. I am still waiting-
Stacy’s head turns sharply as she catches Karmine approach, looking as focused as ever.
Stacy Clark: Viktor, can I get a word?
Stacy Clark: Big match coming up for you. How have you prepared for the unknown here tonight?
Karmine: Stacy, a REAL champion prepares a little bit harder than the rest.
Karmine: A REAL champion pushes themselves to the brink each and every time they step in the ring.
Karmine: A REAL champion wants to fight for the title, the company, and everything those things represent.
Karmine: A REAL champion doesn’t hide behind fancy effects or voice modulators.
Karmine: …and tonight, Stacy. A REAL champion is going to deliver this elbow to the jaw of whatever coward thinks he’s ready.
Karmine: Maybe you can ask my opponent tonight why he didn’t prepare enough for Viktor Karmine… Despite knowing just “Who” I have been all along.
Karmine: I’m walking in tonight as Champion, and I’m walking out tonight as champion… All the way to Wrestlution 18. Whatever it takes.
The voice of Stacy’s own nephew making the ring announcement causes both to look up.
Karmine: We both know that means it’s gametime. Thanks, Stacy.
Karmine rushes through the curtain, prepared to make his entrance.
Stacy Clark: Good luck, Viktor. Guys, back to yo-
Stacy turns to her left and looks up at someone approaching.
Stacy Clark: Oh boy.
We fade from there back to ringside in preparation of the North American Championship match.
NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP
VIKTOR KARMINE* vs. ?????????
The following was recorded the day before Turmoil 311.
At the GM office, we see the COO of OCW, Drago Cesar, seated at the head of the table. Flanking him are his co-GMs, Tiberius Dupree and Ryu Matsumoto. Drago shuffles a stack of papers around, then clears his throat, looking across the table.
Drago: AHEM!
The trio stare at Mrs. Kumiko Sensation at the other end of the table, playing Solar Citizen on her laptop while wielding a steel flight stick. The flight stick shows visible cracks, presumably from years of use and abuse.
EMP: What? I’m trying to teach this sexist pig how to fly!
Our Hero (in-game): Goddamnit why the f*** are you in my game? Why are you bothering me on my day off?
EMP: Because as your lawfully wedded wife, I own half of whatever you own, that also means I own your bum ass spaceships.
Our Hero: THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS! I PAID FOR THESE SHIPS YOU TROLLOP!
Spider puts on a pair of comically large glasses.
RYU: AcTuAlLy, as a professionally trained lawyer-
Our Hero: NOBODY ASKED YOU, GREAT MU..FAILURE.
Our Hero grumbles a bit before proceeding.
Our Hero:(Sighs) Whatever don’t die it takes approximately 15 minutes to get from your bunk to your ship then out into the atmosphere in real time.
EMP: That’s dumb.
Our Hero: I KNOW IT IS! This “Game” isn’t actually out!
EMP: So it's early access?
Our Hero: No….
EMP: Alpha?
Our Hero: No…
EMP: Beta?
Our Hero: NO GOD DAMMIT!
EMP:(Annoyed) THEN WHAT IS IT!!?
Our Hero:(Throws down his Salmon Coat) I DON’T KNOW! Probably a ponzi scheme or an Income funnel, ANYWAY just watch!
Empress presses her face up against the screen as she boosts toward another ship at maximum speed.
Drago: Um, we have show to discuss.
RYU: Yeah, when am I gonna have my turn in the S Cup? I’ll fill in for Empress! I invented her, you know.
Dupree: It’s too early in the day to deal with the PHREAKING MEDIOCRITY.
EMP: Shut up!
She collides with the opposing ship, blowing both of them up into smithereens. Empress jumps up and laughs.
Our Hero: That’s my ship…….THAT’S MY SHIP DUMMY! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PAID FOR THAT?!?!?!
EMP: You PAY for virtual ships?
Our Hero: AFTER ALL I’VE PAID….I SHOULDA LEFT YOU TO DROWN, YOU DUMB BITCH!
Empress closes her laptop and throws it at Mr.Sensation's head!
EMP: ….THAT’S NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR WIFE…..So what are we talking about?
The feed shows a graphic of tonight’s main event, EMP vs. Belle, before the segment ends.
