Indirect sunlight bathes the screen as the scene begins, dance music playing somewhere in the distance. A figure is leaning on a bar top, backlit by the sun casting a shadow across his face, but as he lifts his chin to address the camera, his identity becomes clear.
Bobby Minio: Not long after… coming up a bit short against Mr The Good Light, I walked out into the ring and I addressed the OCW, announcing that I would not be going anywhere in the wake of that match.
A smirk curls on one side of his lips.
Bobby Minio: That was a lie, a deliberate, pre-determined lie. I needed to misdirect attention around myself and more importantly, subvert the expectations that people would have about me after the match, and then after my declaration.
He stands up, planting his palms down on the bar top.
Bobby Minio: As a follow up to that… I want to share with you all, HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION…
He spreads his arms out wide as the camera zooms out rainmaker style, way out down the beach, revealing that Minio had been sitting at an outdoor bar in a tropical paradise.
Bobby Minio: IN IBIZA!!!
The scene jump cuts to Minio walking down the beach, some oversized, fruity drink in hand. He’s dressed in a silk shirt, open chested, wearing orange dolphin shorts with black on black Raybans on his face riding shotgun with a shit eating grin. Deep house is blasting over the speakers as Minio walks and bops along to the beat, talking into the camera.
Bobby Minio: I DECIDED I NEEDED SOME TIME OFF, TIME TO RECHARGE THE OL COPPERTOPS, SO I TOOK AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO THIS PLACE!
Another jump cut, Minio is walking through a crowded street, it’s evening now but the lights and music maintain the overwhelming brightness of the segment.
Bobby Minio: I NEEDED TO GO SOMEWHERE WHERE I COULD CUT LOOSE AND CUT RUGS!
The scene jump cuts to an overhead drone view of a packed club dance floor, the drone camera lowers directly above Minio, dripping with sweat and dressed in colorful and sparse clothing, a headband, arm bands, and a pacifier in his mouth, glowing with the bloom of a blacklight. Minio spits it out, screaming up at the drone camera.
Bobby Minio: I CAN’T STOP RAVING!
Another jump cut to another club, this time at a packed bar. Minio sides up to two women, clearly hours into a rage similar to Minio. He plants hands on each of their shoulders, pulling them into his shoulders.
Bobby Minio: Ladies?!
Another jump cut, each getting more and more rapid alongside the beat of the music. Minio and the two girls are on the dance floor at a third club, they’re screaming and dancing as a bartender sneaks into frame, grabbing Minio by the shoulder.
Bartender: Mr. Sensation, would you like to close out your tab?
Bobby Minio: Close my tab? Look at me, I’m Sensational, and when he’s in Ibiza, Mr. Sensation buys a ROUND FOR THE ENTIRE BUILDING!
The crowd nearby all pops as the bartender shrugs, heading back to his station with a trail of clubbers eager to make good on “Mr. Sensation’s” generosity. The scene jump cuts again to Minio and the two women stumbling into a hotel suite, with Minio and his shit eating grin leaning back into the hall to hang a do not disturb sign on the doorknob.
The music abruptly stops with another rapid jump cut, this time to Minio crashing through a bathroom door and slamming his face into a toilet bowl, violently retching. Mid retch, the scene jump cuts to Minio, his face pale, Raybans squeezed onto his face, as he growls at a waitress who pours his a cup of black coffee.
Immediately, another jump cut shows Minio bellying up to the beach front bar from the beginning of the segment, the bartender here immediately planting a glass of bourbon and what appears to be a small glass of pickle juice, which Minio immediately slams back in a consecutive motion. The music whirls back up as Minio’s shit eating grin crawls across his lips.
Bobby Minio: annnd we’re back!
The scene begins flipping through jump cuts, Minio retracing his steps from the night before, showing a growing pattern, each shot featuring Minio handing different bartenders, consierges, VIP section hosts and waiters an OCW company credit card with Sensation’s name on it, along with Minio’s ear to ear grin. Minio is back on the dance floor, the drone shot zooming lower as Minio covered head to toe in sweat drenched club wear, his eyes clamp down tight as he looks to be in a place of pure joy. The music keeps playing as the screen fading to black, white text appearing in the center.
BOBBY MINIO WILL RETURN AT RIOT 513
An ellipsis appears, text typing in behind it.
… WE HOPE.
The segment fades to the next scene.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Well dam! |
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He probably got a wicked tan! |
The Camera Pans To The Ramp!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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I guess Turmoil is on notice! |
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I am sure they are quaking in the boots that some of them own! |
The scene fades into the arena as the cameras attention turns to the stage area. “New Americana” begins to play across the speaker system as the crowd let the dastardly man known as Thomas Archer know how they feel with a hail of boos as he makes his way onto the stage in full business attire, mic in hand.
He walks down the ramp with a certain air of confidence, palming off any profanities coming his way from fans in the aisle area.
Walking up the steps he stops at the apron and turns to the vitriolic crowd, waving with a smile on his face, before entering the ring and raising his arms in the air. The noise does not quieten for some time, especially when Archer begins to move the microphone to his lips. Eventually Archer has to push through the sound barrier and speak in spite of the fans disapproval.
Archer: Some of you peasants may have noticed that no money fell from the ceiling when I came out here; don’t take that as the 0.5% community not being able to afford it, I just didn’t want any of you touching my hard earned cash.
The boos return.
Archer: And over the past month, 0.5% Studios has risen above expectations, smashing our Box Office forecast and bringing in copious amounts to the bank account of Thomas Archer!
Again, the crowd cannot contain their disdain for the entitled prat.
Archer: And none of this would have been possible without the help of…me, myself, and I - - -
At that moment, “ACTION” blares over the speakers as Jehst’s theme begins to emanate throughout the arena. The crowd immediately pop and cheer on the injured star as he walks out to the stage, also in his business attire, one crutch and moonboot still a part of his outfit. He looks around the crowd as they chant.
CROWD: “THANK YOU JE--EHST! *clap clap clap-clap-clap* THANK YOU JE--EHST! *clap clap clap-clap-clap*”
Jehst: I think the crowd said it best, Archer; no one wants to hear your entitled, bratty voice echoing through this arena.
The fans are in obvious agreeance with the sentiment.
Jehst: And I couldn’t stay backstage and listen to you come out here and tell these people lies. Ya see, the film “Bang Bang Brazil” wasn’t successful because you purchased the studio at the tail end of production; it was the crew, the cast, the production team, the editors, the caterers, and everyone in between!
Jehst:
And last but not least, the fans; in this arena, and all those fans at home that bought tickets to see the Jehst Man perform his heart out on the big screen!
Cheers come from all over the arena.
Archer: Don’t forget your place, Jehst; remember, you are still under contract with 0.5% Studios…in fact, I have your latest performance piece ready for you. Staff Member #3, bring out the spoken word monologue script!
At that, a backstage staffer in black polo shirt and pants emerges with a script in hand and passes it to Jehst. Justin opens it up and skims it up and down, his face turning from mildly annoyed to an anger only held back by a thread. Jehst’s eyes stare down Archer.
Jehst: I’m not reading this.
Archer: Oh, yes you will my little Jester, yes you will. You don’t want Elsa to be cast in any unsavoury roles do you?
Justin grits his teeth, shakes his head and clears his throat. The lights go out and a spotlight shines brightly on the Hollywood star, another on Archer in the ring. He reads as he slowly moves down the ramp, hobbling in his moonboot.
Jehst: *sigh* “I am but a useless sack of dung, floundering under the bright lights of the business. The heat from the rays burn my skin and cause a smell so foul it only equals the stench of my tenure in OCW.”
The camera shifts back to Archer who looks delighted with himself. Justin continues to move down the ramp towards the ring.
Jehst: “My career is a sham; I cannot survive in the ring. I am but a waste of every breath I take.”
Justin’s face twitches, seemingly about to break into a look of utter rage. The spotlight continues to follow his movement towards the apron. He steps up with his good leg, lifting his booted foot up second.
The camera shifts to the hard cam where we can now see both men under spotlights; Jehst on the apron, Archer in the middle of the ring.
Jehst: “I - - - “, I’m not reading this…
Archer: Go on, Jehst, do it for the 0.5%. You have no choice.
Justins free hand balls into a clenched fist as he reluctantly spews Archers words from the page.
Jehst: “I - - am a D-grade film star, if that. My work is utter filth”…
Justin is visibly about to burst. He lowers the mic, looks left into the crowd who begin to cheer, anticipating something may happen here. He looks to the right; same again. Lifting the top rope he begins to enter the ring. Archer backs away with his hand out, signalling for him to halt.
Archer: Security! I am feeling highly threatened right now and need to have this man escorted off the premises!
The crowd heave boos towards the 0.5%’er as a team of six security guards rush the ring. Jehst sees them enter the ring and puts up a decent fight before being subdued and forced out of the ring.
Archer: Don’t worry everyone, there will be more entertainment to come from the Jehst Man himself in the coming weeks! His entertainment career is far from over with 0.5% Studios!
The camera once again shows Jehst as he struggles with the security guards on the ramp, unable to thwart their effort to take him out of the arena. Finally the camera switches back to Archer who is grinning ear to ear, proud of his efforts in embarrassing his rival tonight. We then cut to the next portion of the show.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Thomas Archer is a Jackass! |
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You watch your dam mouth! |
JETT DRAVEN vs B17
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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HE GOT ALL OF IT! |
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Right in the breadbasket! |
An eerie song begins to blast through the arena, and shortly after begins being drowned out by boos.
Telos appears at the top of the ramp, and begins to walk toward the ring with a smirk on his face.
A few random chants of “Cyyyy-Borgg” can be heard from fans closest to the ring. Telos climbs in and motions for a microphone.
Telos: OCW Universe…..long time no see.
The crowd continues to boo Telos as he paces around the ring.
Telos: I see there’s no love lost here….And believe me, the feeling is mutual.
Telos: The last time you all saw me, I was beaten, bloody, and bruised, in one of the most intense matches I’ve ever been a part of. Enough that my career as a member of this esteemed roster was in question.
Telos: I don’t know what happened to Cyborg after Savage Lands, but I’ll say this: Tyson, wherever you are, whatever jail cell you may be in, I hope you have an ancient radio or tv so you can hear this.
Telos: Thank you. Thank you for taking me to my limit. Thank you for showing me that I belong on this OCW roster. Truly. Everyone, round of applause for Tyson.
The crowd claps along with Telos, who stops abruptly.
Telos: ONE, one round of applause is plenty. Now, a wise woman once said, “Never wound a snake; kill it”. And I would agree. I believe it applies to those like myself.
Telos: But there’s a more common quote that I’m finding interest in lately. An old African proverb: “Cut the grass, and the snakes will show”.
Telos: That seems fitting in the current climate of OCW. But I’m not going to just tell you, I’m going to let you all see for yourselves.
Telos: Week by week, I will snip…..snip…..snip…..snip the grass in this organization, and show the entire world how many snakes are in this yard.
Telos: And for any who feel my words may apply, always remember….Everyone reaches the EndGame.
Telos throws the mic ringside and exits the ring, leaving his words to marinate among the OCW Universe.
The cameras fade to our next segment...
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Big Telos is out here! |
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Rookies and Veterans beware! |