The opening riff of Rage Against the Machine’s Sleep Now in the Fire rips through the hushed buzz of crowd murmurings which inspires a small but audible group of fans to pop. The “1MR” logo lights up the screen, and as quickly as the logo had appeared, the One Man Revolution himself, Bobby Minio, appears beneath the screen posing with the hook em’ horns raised high above his head.
Minio hears the sporadic cheers and smiles to himself as he dips his head, he can feel the Revolution is growing, it’s spread.
By the point he’s reached the ring, a ring crew member underhand tosses a live mic towards Minio, which he swipes out of the air and brings to his face in the same fluid motion that he hops onto the ring apron, hanging with one hand from the rope and leaning back.
Bobby Minio: “Seattle, are you ready to break your own record?”
A fan shouts out a hilariously distinct “what!?” amid the confusion of the mostly silent crowd.
Bobby Minio: “Tonight, when I begin the Ex Division Revolution, when I get the better of the ever talented and always arrogant Matsuda, are you going to be ready to SHATTER your Crowd Noise world record?!”
The fans realize the direction this has taken, this is an olive branch to the audience, this is their opening to let the OCW world know that they run the show in Wrestling as well as Football. They pop, louder than Minio had generated from an OCW crowd prior to now.
Bobby Minio: “The Ex Division is in dire need of a Revolution, it needs a heart beat, it needs a pulse! Matsuda, the decorated Matsuda, head to toe in his championship bling and his… arm candy… he’s choked the Ex Division out to a quiet three count. It’s time to break the hold. It’s time to open the most exciting aspect of OCW back up to the masses!”
Minio is pacing now, his tone takes a turn, less pandering, more personal, more serious.
Bobby Minio: “When I came back, when I introduced myself to you all, I told you right then and there, that this, this run? This was me challenging myself to step up to the plate and show that I can still hit the curveball. I feel like, until tonight, I’ve been swinging for the fences, but I just can’t hit a goddamned fair ball to save my damn life!”
Bobby Minio: “Tonight, that all changes. I’m taking the skin off of this bad oscar! Matsuda, he made a big mistake. He saw me as some amusing pet project, as if he thought “Let’s see what the rookies’ got!”, well you could have ASKED me, ‘Suda, without all of the dramatics! The answer would have been simple…
He turns to face the hard camera, putting a boot on the bottom rope and leaning in over the top, a move we’re beginning to see often from the One Man Revolution.
Bobby Minio: “The ‘rookie’ has got balls. The ‘rookie’ has got heart… and the ‘ROOKIE’... has enough experience and wile to rip that Ex Division out of your smug, snug grip before you’re aware it’s happening!”
Minio’s leaning frame bounces on the ropes to emphasize and punctuate the statement punch for punch.
Bobby Minio: “The ‘ROOKIE’ is going to knock your damn block off of it’s post before you even think to tip down your upturned nose to face me as the THREAT to your title belt and your LEGACY that I really am!”
Bobby Minio: “When you retire with whatever crawled out of a J-Pop video long enough to hang from your bicep, and you write your little book of road stories or children’s tales or insightful haikus or whatever the hell, you’re going to lament the fact that you ever made THIS mistake. That you ever handed your Ex Division, and the Ex Division title, over on a platter to the one man with the tools to ACTUALLY TAKE IT FROM YOU!”
Bobby Minio: “You are already famous, Matsuda, you, me, and your fraternity of wrestle-bros all know that you are already famous, but tonight? Chill Faktor 2014… will live on IN INFAMY as a black mark on your illustrious…”
Minio steps backwards, tilting his head up towards the arena lights as if he were envisioning the passage of text. He begins to speak, quoting the words from his own imagination.
Bobby Minio: “It will read something like, ‘The day I threw it all away. The day I put everything I had to show for my years of hard work… on a tee… and handed some indierific rookie the bat. The day… THAT I BLEW IT!’... yes. Yeah that’s it.”
He leans back onto the ropes, centering his focus on the camera yet again.
Bobby Minio: “I don’t care what I have to do. I don’t care what the hurdle is that I have to jump to take that title away from YOU. I don’t give a damn if I have to climb a ladder, drag your cocky hide around the arena and pin you behind a dumpster, or if I have overcome the odds against some other ‘Ambitious’ clown breaking my balls while I put you away. All that matters is that I showed up here tonight, and I knew that it was the dawn of a new Revolution.”
Bobby Minio: “Historically, Revolutions have ALWAYS capitalized on the mistakes of those who were too comfortable in power, too complacent. These last few weeks, Matsuda… tonight… Matsuda… in this very ring… This has all been a clinic for the OCW universe, this is me showing the world how a simple Revolution, can change EVERYTHING. Tonight, the Revolution will not be televised, the Revolution will not be digitalized, and no… the Revolution will not be revitalized…”
Minio pauses. The crowd has drawn to a quiet attention.
Bobby Minio: “Tonight, the Revolution will be realized. Tonight, the new regime takes over. Long live the Ex Division. Long live The One Man Revolution!”
Bobby Minio’s shout into the mic has generated a sizable amount of excitement from the crowd, a few more than he was previously motivating to raise the volume. He gives the audience time to make noise while he vaults over the ropes toward the ramp.
He looks at the microphone as he walks, contemplating his micdrop spot, but a short, barely registered shake of the head and a slight shrug interrupts the moment. Instead, he haphazardly tosses the microphone over his shoulder, sending it back into the ring, which causes the soft yet booming muffled thud of impact to ring out over the PA speakers before the producers cut the mic.
He walks with a purpose towards the backstage area while Sleep Now in the Fire plays him out until he returns to face Matsuda.
The Camera pans to OCWFED Commentators Charles Scaggs and "Big" Al Poling.
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This rookie is ready to start a revolution. |
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But will it be enough to stop the Matsuda Regime? |
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Oh aren't you clever! |
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I have my moments! |
The camera fades back in after commercial ...
BUFFNESS makes his way through the crowded halls back stage . Stopping to sign a couple of autographs he makes his way over to Jim Black in the interview area .
Black - BUFFNESS tonight you face Cody Storm in a two out of three fall match . What are your thoughts going into this match with your one time friend .
BUFFNESS - This match is long over due ... And tonight I plan on giving him the beating he deserves .
Black - With his title shot on the line I'm sure he will do anything to keep it .
BUFFNESS runs a hand over his blond goatee .
BUFFNESS - He better Jim ... he better !!!
Before Jim Black can ask another question BUFFNESS walks off of the set and heads towards the locker room .
Black - Well ... back to ringside!!!
The scene fades to black.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Buffness getting ready for tonight! |
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One of the most important matches in his career. |
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And speaking of career. K.D who has made his career by ending other people's careers takes on a mystrery opponent. |
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What did these cretins vote for lets find out! |
Mystery Match Street Fight 66%
K.Dangelo vs. ???????
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Talk about a brawl! |
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Something out of a Marvel Comic! |
On a normal day, the sound of hustle and bustle rarely finds its way to the dampened halls of the boiler room beneath the arena. However, when the OCW Superstars come to town, there can never be a normal day.
A figure barely recognizable as the Hardcore Champion Bedlam paces frantically back and forth stepping in and out of shadow, when he is interrupted by the ace reported Jim Black, who was looking for Bedlam to get a statement on the whereabouts of his colleague Trisha Walbrook. Though determined, Jim could not hide his curiosity for the events unfolding before him.
Jim: Uh… Bedlam? What is going on here… exactly?
Bedlam: Jimmy-wiggles, my chummily wumbily, how are you mate?
Jim: I'm fine but whats going on here?
Bedlam: Or this? This is me Droogs and my secret operating quarters you see?
Jim: [mortified] Wha-what are they operating on?? That's not… is it?
Bedlam: Trishy Wiggums? I'm afraid not, she skipped out on me after a few rounds of the old in out in out you know. This…
The Droogs, wearing surgical masks, appear to finish their project, Igor whipping the sweat off Steins brow with a dirty rag. The two hug, and leave the scene.
Bedlam: Is the hardcore championship!
Bedlam picks up the belt that looks worse for wear, held together by what appeared to be duck tape, and the words HARDCORE crudely written across the face by midget finger paints.
Jim: What have you done to the belt?!
Bedlam: Ah, so its to be Jim Black calling the shots and asking the questions like some question asking pig then? I have a question for you, Jimbly bits. Have you ever walked the streets of Blackpool with a ten pound belt of gold around your giblets?
Jim: I can't say I have…
Bedlam: Well let me tell yea then mate. It is much easier to cut it into wee pieces and smuggle it in your droogs. Less trouble from the others living under the old bridge you see.
Bedlam: Now if you'll accept my apolly-wolly-wollow-geez, I have discord and suffering to set in motion. Good day sir!
Bedlam leaves the scene, leaving Jim Black with a whiff of his reconstructed title, which sends him looking for a bucket.
???: What in the HELL was that?! I swear on all of my degrees! I tasked you with one job. ONE. DAMN. JOB. And you screw it up! Years of planning! For naught!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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It's like im numb to it all now. |
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Oh god. |