A bell sounds as a door opens to a poorly lit office. Jonny D dressed in a generic “Crocodile Hunter” outfit is seen walking in nervously. He sits on a nearby chair and leans back closing his eyes until a cloaked man wearing a Kangaroo mask surprises him.
Kangaroo Mask: HI! JONNY D! I AM DR. ROGER KANGAROO PHD YOU CAN CALL ME DR. ROO FOR SHORT!
He startles Jonny D and offers a handshake, but D is just bewildered.
Dr. Roo: Oh sorry that was a bit strong, anyways doyouhavetheartifact!? I really really want it. It’s amazing the history of it. The Koala Culture is so interesting. Did you know Koala fingerprints are indisti-
Jonny D: Yeah I got your stupid action figure!
Jonny D reveals a small ivory Koala statue. The Koala stands on both feet and has a ““ face.
Dr. Roo: Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Payment as promised!
Dr. Roo brings out a shiny green & black surfboard and places it on the table. It looks very expensive and even has dollar signs on it! Jonny D is visibly excited and immediately snatches the surfboard and clutches it close to his chest. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Dr. Roo: The Green Koala Ranger surfboard! Legend has it that if one rides it at the right moment at these coordinates-
Dr. Roo quickly attaches a sticky note to the back of the board.
Dr. Roo: they will open a jetstream portal right to New York City! You want to head back to America, right?
Jonny D: Of course Roo’ dude! I can’t wait to kick Ligermask’s masked booty hole and take back my unemployment money, but I had a question that only someone of your intelligence can answer. If I were to sell this item to a random stranger would I have enough dollarydoos to get back to America?
Dr. Roo: Of course you’d easily afford a ticket and coach too!
The camera zooms in on his masked face as Dr. Roo picks his nose in thought.
Dr. Roo: Wait are you planning on selling this thing? It can’t fall in the hands of evil! COME BACK!!!
Jonny D wasn’t there as the scene fades to the Australian flag.
The camera pans to the announce team.
WHAT IN THE...
Just don't ask, JUST DONT ASK!
K.D Angelo vs Cort Marshall
Loading the player...
The camera pans to the announce team.
HOLE SHEEEET!
WOAH!!!
We now go outside the arena where a stylish, black town car has just pulled up. The car is adorned on the front with two small diplomatic flags. One flag bears the image of Turmoil GM Gentleman Jack giving the famed “Leon Pose” in mocking contempt, while the other showcases the most decorated champion in OCW history, Dennis Black, looking like the smug son of a bitch that he is.
Our scene moves inside the town car where Gentleman Jack is getting orally pleasured by a random, chubby, skank. As the plump whore works the GM's knob, the scene freezes as Jack looks directly into the camera to address the audience.
Jack: Now I know what you're thinking. You're saying to yourself, “Jack, tonight is the most important night of your career! Why are you getting blown by some poor haggered woman?”
Jack: I'll tell you why. It's because I don't have any respect for my opponent. Sure, he may have held every title this company has ever had but that doesn't get my respect. He may have survived, even thrived for a decade in the most cut throat business in all the land. Whoopity do.
Jack: When I think of Nate Ortiz, I don't think of the accolades or the longevity. I don't see a legend that demands respect. Between you and me, I barely even see a man.
Jack: No, what I see is a victim. It doesn't matter how many titles he wins. It doesn't matter if they add three more wings to the Hall Of Fame with his name on them. No, all of this is of trivial consequence. Nate Ortiz is nothing more than a broken victim that deserves nothing but my half hearted pity.
Jack: Nate Ortiz, the shining beacon of excellence upon which a company was born. Give me a break. Nate Ortiz isn't a great man, he's a broken man. The sad thing is, I didn't even get to break him.
Jack: No, Casey Paine took that pleasure for herself ages ago. The rest of the world may have forgotten it, but not me. If a little girl with a dirty twat and an over active imagination can literally rape him, think of what I'll do.
Jack: You see, that's where the rest of my brilliance comes into play. Nobody in the company thinks I can lace up my own boots. What they don't understand is that I've been training with Dennis Black for over a year. I spent months in an asian prison taking steroids and learning everything I could from the dirtiest player in the game, Leon Valentine.
Jack: They expect to me to walk to the ring high on god knows what and piss myself when I see a legend standing across from me. But that's where they're wrong. I'm going to march to that ring without an ounce of worry and I'm going to smack their savior right across his face.
Jack: Now I admit, things have progressed much faster than I had anticipated. While nothing would please me more than to knock Nate Ortiz back down to the dirt where he belongs, I didn't think this would happen for months. I assumed I'd have to lay another trap, ruin dozens of lives just to trick him into a match.
Jack: Yet here we are, mere weeks after the revelation of my grand plan, facing Nate Ortiz in the main event of Riot. So that brings us to a question? Why? Who's pulling the strings?
Jack: Is it Nate himself? Already bored with retirement? Looking for one last shot at glory? A chance to regain his name after that beating he took in April....
Jack: Or is it Sensation? To be fair, I knew taking Turmoil would ruffle some feathers and have me show up on radars id prefer to stay off of. Does he really care that much? He can barely hold together Riot, why come after me now?
Jack: Perhaps its hubris. Just because he beats a chinaman in bad face paint he thinks he's a player again. Maybe he spent so much time in that box that he doesn't realize what a worthy adversary looks like.
Jack: Either way, it doesn't matter. Sensation's time will come too, just like all the others. While most of the roster saw me as nothing more than I clown I secretly seized power, ruined multiple OCW legend's lives, and made myself indispensable to the day to day operations of this company. He can't get rid of me now, not even if wanted to.
Jack turns away from the camera and time resumes as normal with the busted whore pleasuring Jack. As he enjoys himself, his cell phone rings. Jack answers, turning on the speaker. On the other end is Jack’s secretary who, despite whatever her christian name is, shall always be referred to as Brenda.
Brenda: Sir I have the charity you wanted to speak to on the other line.
Jack: Put them through.
Brenda patches Jack through to a woman working with RAINN, or the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.
Charmell: Thank you for calling the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, this is Charmell, how may I help you?
Jack: Hi Charmell, I’m about to make an insane amount of money for beating a rape victim on national television. Now while I have no personal qualms with this, my spiritual advisor has informed me that it’s not good for me karma. Or chi. Chai? Chi? I dunno, one of those things.
Charmell: Excuse me?
Jack: Don’t interrupt, a man is talking. That’s just rude. Now as I was saying, I’m going to beat the holy hell out of this rape victim on live tv and I…
Jack trails off as he realizes Charmell has rightfully hung up on him.
Jack: Rude.
Jack dials the charity back up. By the way he’s still getting blown by a fat homeless chick. Don’t ever forget that. Anyway Jack dials the charity back and a new woman answers.
Epiphany: Thanks yous for calling RAINNs. This the Epiphany, whatchu need?
Jack: Finally, somebody with a little class!
Epiphany: Yes I am Epiphany.
Jack: Epiphany I have a problem. You see I’m going to beat a rape victim on tv and I was saying to your associate Charmell, while I have no issue with it, my spiritual advisor has told me that if I do this, and trust me Epiphany, I’m going to do it, that I need to balance out my karma.
Epiphany: Charmell? That bitch ain't right.
Jack: I believe you Epiphany, I truly do. So as I was saying, going to beat a rape victim for financial gain, need to even out my karma.
Epiphany: Like did this bitch cheat on you or anything? Now keep in mind, their rape cannot be considered cheating.
Jack: No Epiphany we’re not in a relationship. In fact its not even a woman. It’s a man.
Epiphany: Man? You in prison? Because a man cant get raped. That’s crazy.
Jack: You know if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes I wouldnt have believed it either.
Epiphany: So a mans gots raped and now you’re going to give him hands?
Jack: That’s right Epiphohy. You know I feel like I get you…
Epiphany: Psh aint no man getting Epiphany!
Jack: Oh I bet there’s a fun story there. Sadly Epiphanies I don't have time to hear it. What with me needing to go beat the rape victim and all.
Epiphany: Right, right, right… So what was it you need boo boo?
Jack: Well you see Epiphany, I want to donate some of the proceeds of this beating to your fine organization. And you know what? It’s almost Christmas, let’s make the check out in honor of Nate Ortiz.
Epiphany: Nate Ortiz? Is he Mexican? he sound Mexican?...I knew this one dude Carlos, that boy was fire!.....(she continues for several minutes Jack sits quietly)
Jack: I know Epiphany, I know. Well listen I have to come, I mean go… No I meant come… So yeah, expect that check! And this makes me right with the world now?
Epiphany: Psh I don’t even know. I’m just working here for my community service.
Jack: What’d you do?
Epiphany: F***ed Carlos on an elementary school See Saw. Those teachers and students was not impressed by ya girls flexability!
Jack: So, you want to get a drink sometime?
Our scene fades as the man entrusted to lead Turmoil continues to get blown by a fattie while hitting on a dog f***er. Frank Gotch would be proud.
The camera pans to the announce team.
This is what Living Human Garbage looks like......
He said Rape at least 87 times....AWESOME!@!!!!!!!!!!!
We pan into the Official TTT Ambassador Lounge and Locker Room. Ryu is sitting in the lounge area on a large leather sectional texting someone on his phone.
Suddenly, the door to the locker room opens up and Dennis Black, and Heather walk in. They are joined by an oddly dressed man, he’s wearing skin tight maroon capris, no socks, boat shoes and a blazer with padded shoulders.
Ryu stares blankly at Dennis for a few moments in attempt to gather his thoughts
RYU: I like where your head's at Dennis, but I think it's a little too early to be courting the gay community, let's focus on our base.
HEATHER: The gay community?
DENNIS: The gay community? No, Spider, this is Yung Kiddo.
RYU: Oh boy… are you sure you wanna be trying to go after the pedophile market? It's a little risque … but it could work… I mean look at Paul …
DENNIS: No, Spider, Yung Kiddo is a rapper. I really want to get Air Blek and the TTT brand off the ground, and I think Yung Kiddo wearing our merch in his videos would be a great boost for us.
DENNIS: Now we’re gunna discuss what merch he wants to wear for his concert tonight. He has some groupies coming by, do you mind watching them if we take too long?
RYU: Yeah it’ll be great to have some feminine charm in here, Heather walks so… stiff, ease up girl jayzus.
“ face.
