Washington D.C. An alleyway. Danger lurks. A grey haired man staring at a wall. Why?
Man: If I don’t do this job right, I’ll be unemployed.
Pretty much on cue Sentai Hare LEAPS in. Posing with her hands on her hips and looking to the side.
Sentai Hare: Sentai Hare is always the right one to do the job. What do you need?
Man: I’m supposed to get rid of this.
The man sighs and points to the wall. Graffiti. It reads “The BUTTerness” in large bold letters.
Sentai Hare: Such vulgarity. It doesn’t matter how well defined one’s glutes are and neither should they be shamed in such a vile manner. What is your name?
Man: They call me Sam The Janitor because I’m a janitor.
Sentai Hare: Sam Thejanitor the janitor got it. I’ll need access to your tools.
Slightly amused Sam Thejanitor shows Sentai Hare the mop he was about to use.
Sentai Hare: Pfft. Luckily, Sentai Hare never leaves without her Hare Brush!
Out of thin air an oversized Hair Brush appears labelled “Hare Brush” in pink text on the spine. She wipes it onto the wall and with a jazz note and a yellow "BLAM!" in front of the screen the graffiti is gone.
Sam: My lord.
Sam can’t believe it. The camera zooms in on his face as his expression changes to a look of worry.
Sam: Wait is that a Hare Brush as in a Paint Brush?
Sentai Hare: How else will wrong doers know to not write such slanderous things such as “The BUTTerness” if I don’t show them the symbol of justice.
The camera reveals replacing the graffiti is now a HUUUUGE bright pink “Bunny” emoji with bunny ears. It freeze frames to Sentai Hare giving a peace sign in the foreground as OCW heads to its next segment.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Sentai Hare debuts next week! |
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I can't wait! |
Madison Cox VS Anna Mosity
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Oh my god! |
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Woooooooah! |
Molly is standing outside of the arena next to one of Mugen’s personal assistants.
ASSISTANT: What are we doing out here again?
MOLLY: I’ve gotten in contact with someone to deal with the Kassidy problem.
ASSISTANT: What have you done? Hired a hitman?
MOLLY: No, even better, I’ve hired a Vampire Hunter.
The assistant looks at her bewildered, before she can react a motorcycle engine can be heard roaring in the distance getting closer and closer.
A Motorcycle begins approaching the curb near Molly and the Assistant, it passes them at speed… and keeps going.
ASSISTANT: Was that him?
MOLLY: I don’t know… maybe he’s gunna comeback?
As Molly finishes we hear the the squeaking of a bicycle approach. We see a bicycle pulling a red wagon with a man inside approaching.
???: Hi Miss Molly!
Molly squints to get a better look at the person on the bike greeting him.
Molly: Oh god no...
The bike finally reaches the assistant and Molly. Hide Matsumoto is the one riding the bicycle and the man sitting indian style in the wagon is none other than his father Ryu Matsumoto.
Ryu is wearing black tactical gear with a black leather jacket and sunglasses.
MOLLY: You’re T. Blade?!
RYU: Yep, the T stands for Trash! I been hunting demons, supernatural beings and Vampires in my free time.
MOLLY: ...How? You’re an official in the Federal Government HOW DO YOU HAVE FREE TIME?!
RYU: Nah it's fine, so why did you call me anyways? You guys still being haunted by that ghost?
MOLLY: …
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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The T is for TRASH! |
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Hahahahaha |
The Xtron Flickers On!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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CAN YOU FEEL THE ENERGY! |
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YESSS! |
Street Fight Therapy Session
Mugen VS Our Hero VS Drago
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Good god the Carnage! |
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They went for all of it! |
Previously recorded.
We return to “In Ya Crib” with Trisha Waldrop featuring Tiberius Dupree at The Magnificent Manor of Betterness. Since this segment could possibly take 3 hours to complete; We get a small montage of Madeline showing Trisha all the standard rooms of the manor, the living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens etc.
Dupree himself will give her an exclusive tour of one particular room of the Dragon Wing portion of the manor, which includes an indoor garden and observatory. Trisha follows him through two large oak doors which he opens with the grace of an angel.
Dupree: This is the Ambitious Atrium of Ambition, where I keep everything pertaining to the Ambition Era.
Trisha: Is that the OCW Ambition Championship? You were never champion were you?
Dupree: Unfortunately not, none of the Ambition 5 ever held it. I actually purchased this from a third party which I will not divulge his name as it may cause you to defecate from your ears and go into a mild psychosis. Much like the feeling most people get when I mention Dennis Black.
Trisha and the camera survey all the memorabilia and rare merchandise. She looks at a trophy that proclaims Dupree graduated first of Ambition’s Rookie Class.
Dupree: The galaxy knew it then, I grew from Your Girl’s Favorite Wrestler, to The Fire, to the beautiful specimen you see before you now...The Betterness.
Tibby doesn’t need much to get into an Ambition rant.
Dupree: There is a reason you’re standing in a room not many will ever stand in Trisha. I brought you here so you can show the world, especially Dennis Black where I come from in the most mundane way possible.
He smacks Trisha’s hand from touching the glass that holds his first OCW World Championship.
Dupree: So maybe you all could take a minor glimpse into the vastness that is my soul. I was not given an even playing field like Turmoil and even Riot rookies have now. There were no Ambition matches featured on pay per view events.
Dupree: We didn’t have our own commentary team, we literally had to light the freaking ring on fire to gain viewers. Our hands weren’t held, their were no locker room leaders to gain insight from. Our main events featured Riot’s leftovers, our championship around the waist of replacements.
Dupree: It was abysmal Trisha, yet I scrapped and clawed my way to the top and I didn’t reach it alone. I elevated everyone and everything around me when I became the face of the brand.
Dupree: Who around Dennis Black is successful except Dennis Black? Has Turmoil made OCW a better place? The Betterness absolutely has!
Trisha doesn’t seem to be paying the OCW Hall of Famer no mind as she continues to survey the room.
Dupree: That’s the difference between Turmoil and Ambition, the difference between Tiberius Octavian Dupree and Dennis Black. Ambition elevated OCW to the heights it’s still soaring to today. So you're welcome Trisha, you’re welcome Dennis Black, you’re damn welcome world.
Trisha: Um thank you I guess. You seem pretty confident the night before such a big match.
Dupree: Big match? Do you know why YOU think it’s big Trisha? Because I’m in it, people come to see the Betterness prevail and prosper, they will always come to see Dennis Black lose and fail….remember that.
As if suddenly annoyed he looks at Trisha with a disgusting scowl.
Dupree: Now will you politely leave my residence, I bore of your presence. Madeline, please escort Mrs. Waldrop out.
Before Trisha can say another word to Tibby Madeline is grabbing her arm pulling her through the large oak doors.
Trisha: This this was another edition of “In Ya Crib” featuring Trisha Waldrop, see you all next time!
The camera fades as the large oak doors slam behind her.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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That was meh! |
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It was glorious! |