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A.C. Cobra begins to signal to the ring announcer to hand him the mic.Snapping at him and pointing him to come to the ring side with the mic.King Tyga is walking up the ramp as fans pat him on the back after the victory. You can hear Cobra yelling to the ring announcer "hurry up"!
A.C. Cobra-I'm sick and tired of this.
A.C. is breathing heavy into the mic.He's winded after the hard fought match.
A.C. Cobra-Every week I come out here and bust my ass.For what to job to half pint size talent like Lucky O'Donnel.Or to lose to a standing oak tree with the IQ of Ruffus on Ritalin.Yes Sherwood Jameson that's about you!
Crowd begins to lightly cheer.
A.C. Cobra-From here on out I have an list.An list of all the OCW talent that beat me since I made my long awaited debut.A list of all the lucky queue that had the opportunity of pinning me. I will go back week after week beating every last single one of them.
Cobra pauses in the middle of his sentence begins to wags his fingers and laugh.He puts the mic and down as the crowd begins to cheer for him chanting he raises his arm in the air for them to stop and begin talking.
A.C. Cobra-The list starts with you Lucky.Yes it starts with the un charismatic plum haired Jew Fro Mr.Lucky O'Donnel. You beat me that was probably the biggest win of your career.
A.C. Cobra-I spent night after night thinking to myself "how the hell you lose to the anorexic version of Jonah Hill" How did you..........
Crowd starts to chant "Super Bad"repeating it over and over again for about 30 seconds.
A.C. Cobra-Calm down we all love McLovin.Next week Lucky no more luck for you.No more horseshoe wins.No more of having red bats in your back pocket to beat me.See Lucky in China they believe that the red bat is an symbol of good luck.It's a symbol of good health,wealth,longevity,love,and virtue.
A.C. Cobra-I want you next week at Road To Glory.I want to strip you of your health.Hurt your loved ones bring virtue,wealth, and longevity upon my name.
Mixed reactions in the crowd.Some begin to boo and some still cheer.
A.C. Cobra-After I'm done with you then I can move onto to KD.Then to Jameson then onto the masked Tony The Tiger in King Tyga.Either way I'm going to get all the wins that was robbed from me.
Cobra gets more serious.The camera pans towards the center of the ring.Cobra walks towards the ropes and begins to speak.He places his left foot on the bottom rope and his right hand on the rope.
A.C. Cobra-Lucky next week on Road To Glory it's me and you.This isn't an request this is non negotiable.My father always told me a contract is only an contract when both parties benefit.I benefit next week by earning the win that was stolen from me.You benefit from not having me come and find you.
Cobra drops the mic ring side.He slides out the ring as the crowd still have mixed reactions.His music is playing and he walks up the ramp towards the backstage area.The camera follows him as he walk up the ramp.
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I'm glad we have Icy Cobra |
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AC Cobra. |
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I don't really care Scaggs. |
C4 vs Sid Harrison/KD'Angelo
We're taken back to the scene at the zoo, where Drago and the cameraman are crouched behind a wall.
Drago Cesar: Ok, we're outside the gates, and the only thing stopping us is that security man in the booth! You ready to execute our master plan?
Cameraman: Surely you can't be serious.
Drago Cesar: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
The cameraman gets up from his spot and walks toward the security guard at the booth.
Security Guard: Listen, I told you kids once to beat it, now am I going to have to call the auth-
Cameraman: Wait, wait, wait. Sir, we REALLY need to get into the zoo, my friend is a photographer and he thinks that it would be really cool to get into the zoo later than usual. I'll make it worth your while, I've got plenty of cash for you.
Security Guard: Hmmmmm.....Fine. How much you go-
Suddenly a dart whizzes by the guard and into the wall. An obscenity can be heard from the distance. The guard looks behind him and notices the dart.
Security Guard: Sons of bitches are trying to kill me! That's it, I'm fetching the authorities on you!
One more dart whizzes by, then as the guard is about to call for backup, Drago is seen rushing towards the guard and with one final shot, manages to nail the guard in the face with a dart. The guard has a look like he's constipated before he slowly goes down for the count.
Cameraman: Jesus Christ, what the hell were you thinking?!?! I could've bribed this guy and we would have gotten in no problem! Come on, man!
Drago Cesar: Sorry, I'm just like it more action in my life.
Drago hops over the booth and finds the switch to open the front gate. With the gate open, Drago rushes in to see the gorilla sitting there looking at its own mucus again. He stands in awe of the silverback.
Drago Cesar: Look at that, it's beautiful!
Cameraman: Yeah, can we hurry this up? Pretty sure the cops will be here soon.
Drago runs over to the gate guarding the gorilla. He notices the padlock on it. After banging on it with the butt of the rifle, he backs up and charges toward it with all his might, breaking the padlock and swinging the door open. The gorilla notices Drago as he points out the door.
Drago Cesar: Come on, let's get out of here!
The gorilla knuckle-walks out the door and once he leaves the main gate, he sits there for a bit. Drago gets behind him and hops onto his back, pointing in front of him.
Drago Cesar: TO VICTORY!!!!!!
Drago keeps pointing as the gorilla sits there, not moving. Drago gets off his back and crouches toward it.
Drago Cesar: Is something wro-
Suddenly, the gorilla delivers an open hand slap to Drago that instantly knocks him out cold. The gorilla scratches its posterior as he finally starts heading to the inner city. The cameraman runs in and catches a glimpse of the gorilla's trek as the feed cuts out.
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Oh my god I hope he's ok. |
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This is television Scaggs, of course he's ok... right? |
We cut backstage to the well furnished headquarters of the Obelisk of OCW, OMG, where we find our gold thirsty villain taking in the artificial warmth of a televised fireplace in a red velvet chair. Sipping on his herbal green tea, the Eternal Super Junior Triple Crown Hardcore Champion of the World turns to the camera with a surprised look coming across his face.
Matsuda: Oh, what a surprise! I wasn't expecting you here. Please, come in.
Matsuda stands to welcome the OCW Universe, revealing a sleek silk robe with a golden floral pattern. The crackling embers of the fire on the television illuminate the four belts hanging from the nearby wall.
Matsuda: I suppose you want a few words on my match this week with the other half of the Reckless Revolution, the Reckless Kid Luke Fuentes? I suppose I could spare a few nuggets of wisdom. Let me put on my promo glasses.
Stepping forth from the shadows is Matsuda's lovely and talented girlfriend, Minami Sasazaki, who hands the Dear Leader his shades. Our Villain turns around to put them on, and turns back around a changed man.
Matsuda: You know why they call me the Dear Leader, Luke? I've been called a lot of things throughout my storied career in OCW, but that title, is one of my favorites.
Matsuda: They call me the Dear Leader, Luke, because for nearly three long years I have had this division under my thumb, sitting atop my championship throne and ruling with an iron fist.
Matsuda: Challengers have come and gone but the one constant in this division is Hideto Matsuda.
Matsuda: But heavy weighs the head that bears the crown, and sometimes I grow weary of this weight. All these belts[Matsuda points to the gold plated wall behind him] are a burden on me. On my life on my relationships. Always with an eye peering over my shoulder…
Matsuda: Sometimes I just wish someone would take it from me. Take away this weight. Take away MY GOLDEN SHACKLES. Maybe it is you who will free me from my own over achievement.
Matsuda: Sometimes I think I would like nothing more than for you to walk out to that ring, beat me one, two, three and set me free, Luke.
Matsuda: Beat me and make a name for yourself! Beat me and make your former tag team partner Jobby Minio the Janetty forever! Beat me and become IMMORTAL!
Matsuda: And then I remember that that could never happen.
Matsuda turns from the camera and disrobes, revealing his ring gear.
Matsuda: Because I always go over.
The scene fades as Matsuda makes his way towards the ring.
OCW HARDCORE EX + WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE ITS FOR TITLE MATCH
MATSUDA(c) vs Luke Fuentes
Location: CLASSIFIED
Time: Mid-Day
The scene opens showing two people blindfolded in the back of a van, seated on a bench. Across from them sets Lt. Fluffy, a smaller man..midget...with a high powered rifle pointed at the two blindfolded mystery guests.
In the front, two more midgets set in the front in booster seats so they can see over the dash. The driver wears blocks attached to his feet so he can reach the pedals. The van begins to slow down when it approaches a large structure. The van stops, and the two midgets from the front exit the van and begin walking towards the facility.
Meanwhile, in the back of the van, Lt. Fluffy stands up and removes the blindfolds from the two passengers, revealing a OCW camera man and Trisha Waldrop.
Lt. Fluffy: Now, as I told you, this will be a quick and short visit. You will be careful about the questions you ask. You will address him as sir and for all that is holy, don't say Trance's name! The General....he's...on the edge right now, pressure of the PPV you see?
Both the camera man and Trisha nod, and step out of the van and follow Lt. Fluffy to the structure. As they approach the entrance, they see that it's flanked by two smaller soldiers.
Small Soldier 1: We have to search both of you or there will be no interview!
Both Trisha and the camera man nod once again in agreement. They lead the man over to an inspection table and begin to search him. As they begin to pat up his leg towards the groin area...
Small Soldier 1: What is this!?
Camera Man: Well...that's my...um..
Small Soldier 1: He has a weapon! Code: UH-OH!!!
Camera Man: Wait! That's not a weap-
Small Soldier 1: Liar! You were trying to assassinate the General!
As the camera man shudders in fear, he is surrounded by twenty midget soldiers. They move forward and jump towards him, some grabbing at his feet, legs, arms, neck, almost anywhere they can grab. The man falls over and the midgets let go of him and he quickly stands up, hands raised in the air, surrendering.
Small Soldier 1: He's resisting! Tazer him!
One of the many soldiers quickly unstraps his Tazer gun and shoots at the man, hitting him directly in the crotch. The man falls over in agony and twitches as the volts surge through his body, and finally stops, passed out.
Lt. Fluffy: He will be dealt with now, please follow me ma'am, the General is expecting you.
After being lead into the facility and through several doors, Trisha is brought into a bare wall room with a table and two chairs, one occupied with General Raze.
Trisha: Raze, my cam-
Raze: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!
Trisha, I'm sorry sir, but my camera man...
Raze: He will be dealt with. Now, lets move on from this, time is short and you want an interview.
Trisha sets down across from the General and takes out her notes and a pen.
Trisha: Sir, where exactly is this facility located?
Raze: What kind of question is that? If I reveal that information to you that psycho could be at my doorstep and World War III would begin! It would be the end of humanity as we know it!
Trisha: I don't thi-
Raze: Humanity!
Trisha: Sir, I-
Raze: HUMANITY!!!
Trisha: Alright, fine! Next question sir: If I'm not mistaken, is this facility made out of...pillows, mattresses, and couch cushions?
Raze: Woman, not only is this facility made out of pillows, mattresses, and couch cushions, it's made from the FINEST pillows, mattresses, and couch cushions!
Raze: Do you know how many mattress stores' and furniture stores' we had to inspect? This took months of planning and is now one of the strongest facilities in the world!
Trisha: How so...sir?
Raze: Well...I don't like to brag..but this facility can repel a nerf and paintball gun attack...AT THE SAME TIME!!! You show me the facility that can do that!
Trisha: Well...anyway...may we see the rest of the facility...sir?
Raze: I can show you the storage room but not anywhere else. We have a strict, 'NO GIRLS ALLOWED' in our fort and it's super secrete.
Trisha: O...K..
The General leads Trisha out of the room and down a hallway, passing many doors that are marked, 'SUPER SECRETE'. They approach a smaller room marked, 'STORAGE' and enter into a large storage room.
Raze: As you can see, we only keep the most important supplies that will help us survive anything!
Trisha: Why do you have My Little Pony, seasons 1-5?
Raze: I can't start my day without the ponies! Why, that would be a injustice!
Trisha: Never mind...Anyway, one final question: What are your thoughts on Jacob Trance at Road 2 Glory?
The General stops mid-step and slowly turns to Trisha. He has a wild look in his eyes as he gets real close to Trisha.
Raze: Trance...there will be one less injustice..
Raze: This interview is over! GET OUT!!!
All of a sudden, the screen goes black and a woman is heard screaming.
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