(Recorded Prior To Summercide and Broadcasted In The Event of Mugen's Victory)
(YES, There Is One Recorded In Case Of A TRAGIC Mugen Defeat, YES It Has Been Burned, Buried & Destroyed)
Picture this. It’s 1990. You are sitting on a beach sipping on a well made cocktail. Surrounded by palm trees, you are found reclining on a beach chair with your favorite book. Maybe it’s Goosebumps, perhaps it’s Jurassic Park. Regardless, you are in bliss.
Flashback to the present, you are not on a beach, you are surrounded by cold LEDs and refined Gundanium. You have one good eye so you can hardly read. That’s right, you are Spider trapped in the Cube.
Spider yells out “NOOOOOOOOOOOO” in frustration.
We pan to the P3 Soundstage where our favorite duo, The Platinum Platonic Partners are sipping fancy cocktails with umbrellas in them in their finest summer outfits.
Mugen: LADIES!
Drago: AND GENTLEMEN!
Together: WE ARE P3!
The studio audience who also look like they are in their finest summer outfits start going mad. Including Margaritaville Sensation who is sporting the finest Tommy Bahamas shirt he could get.
Drago: As you can see, our great friend Spider still in Cube.
Mugen: And! I have been officially crowned as the safest person in OCW history after defeating Parker “Wrex” Stevens. Which means……………..THAT EVERYTHING HAS BEEN GREAT HOORAYYYY!
The crowd go wild again as Mac and Bubba bark and roar.
Drago: Well, almost everything.
Mugen: Why, what’s wrong old sport?
Drago: I wanna lead this one because you had Safest Match EVER last night. But where you are had some fun…..
Drago looks at his palm pensively.
Drago: I’m feel unfulfilled.
Mugen: Uh, you looking for another world title run?
Drago quickly turns to Mugen with paranoia running through his eyes.
Drago: He did not shake my hand! Why???
Mugen: What kind of charlatan would refuse to shake your hand?
Drago: Goat….
Mugen: Oh. Well you know he gets in his feelings like that.
Drago: WHY?!?!?!
Drago raises his hand to Mugen.
Mugen: He takes the very notion of your existence….personally?
The answer is clearly not good enough for our dear hunter. Drago walks to center stage with his right hand out.
Drago: We gonna play game called “Shake My Hand.” Rule is simple. You shake my hand. We be friends!
The crowd roars in excitement as do Bubba and Mac. Drago walks up to cross-eyed Ted and offers his hand.
Ted: Oh of course Mr. Drago!
Unfortunately due to the CTE that has come as a result of a million “unintended” injuries, Ted has a hard time meeting his hand with Drago’s. He lunges his hand to the side, just missing Drago. Drago uses his free hand to adjust Ted’s hand to finally meet his. They shake hands to a standing ovation. Margaritaville Sensation jumps for joy.
Margaritaville Sensation: WEPA!!!
The applause is cut off by the sound of….
BAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
A wild goat steps onto the stage, staring a hole into Drago. Mugen’s jaw drops.
Mugen: Oh no.
Drago carefully approaches the goat and crouches down to meet his level.
Drago: I don’t want to hurt you.
He extends his hand.
Drago: I just wanna be friends!
Mugen anxiously leans into his desk so hard it breaks in half, startling the goat and ramming into Drago’s knee.
Drago: Ouch!
The goat scurries away.
Mugen: You know what you need. You need something that makes you not only stand out but also makes you look like a person that needs to have their hand shaken.
Mugen motions for somebody in the back to bring something. Graham Greene III shows up from behind the curtain with a glowing 24 karat gold glove. Drago’s eyes light up from the sight of the glove and can’t take his eyes off of it.
Mugen: I call this the Power Glove! Go try it out old sport.
Mugen motions for Drago to go over and put the glove on. Drago gladly obliges and pops on the glove and feels like power flowing through his veins.
Drago: I GOT THE POWERRRRR!
Drago starts running into the studio audience and starts shaking everybody’s hand 1 by 1. He eventually gets to Margaritaville Sensation.
Drago: Shake my hand!!!!
Margaritaville Sensation: Of course I would! Muthaf***a!
He meets Drago’s hand with his, but he inadvertently pushes a button on the glove which emits a static discharge, causing him to explode into a million particles!
DEBBIE D. vs. ASHLEY MOORE*
We pan into the parking lot of the arena, Leon is looking around as if he’s expecting someone, he quickly hides between a set of cars.
As if on cue Leon’s Car pulls up in to the parking lot, the door opens and The Spider Ryu Matsumoto, freshly freed from The Cube appears, he extends his arms and loudly yells.
RYU:I’m BACK, AND THE BEST IS YET…
Leon: Surprise MOTHER F**KER!!!
Before he can finish, like a flash, Leon LKOs Spider, leaving him sprawled on the parking lot. He calmly gets into his car, puts his hands on the steering wheel and smiles.
CAREER vs. LEGACY
ARIES vs. NATE ORTIZ