Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

Madison makes her way outside the Staples Center through the loading area, after a most stressful outing with Rev Inc and T.O.P at the start of the show. She is heavily focused on her phone and sternly poking at her touch screen. She has been attempting to reach the Black King, Dennis Black after he missed his flight after being attacked on Turmoil by ToP.

Dammit Dennis, where the hell are you? Why do you even have a phone if you don't answer messages?!

Madison wipes away a strand of hair from her face, and begins fanning herself.

Ugh this heat is oppressive. Where's my stylist? I can't be trolloping around in this humid cesspool of misery, look at what it's doing to my hair!

A very frustrated Madison begins beckoning at the various stagehands bringing equipment in and out from the arena.

Is there no coffee in this establishment?? Isn't this LA? I've seen plenty of boho-hobo chic individuals running around and one has YET to fetch me a frappuchino!!

A meek voice of someone scurrying over becomes louder and louder as they approach Madison.

Hobo Chic Nothing:
here… HERE… HERE you go, Madison! I-I-I-I've got your frappuccino, j-j-just the way you like it!

Madison: Well it's about time someone paid attention to their Queen around here! Now shoo, go on! Run along now!

Hobo Chic Nothing: Y-y-yes your Highness! Thank you, your Highness!

As the wimpy assistant slinks away, a chrome lime green drop top Impala driven by some rough looking fellows in bandanas pulls into the loading area, blasting Notorious B.I.G.’s “Juicy” over the squeaking of the hydraulics. Bill Ding can be seen in the back bobbing his head to the beat and singing along with his own lyrics.

Bill Ding:

It was all a dream,
I used to read OCW magazine-
A-Team and Nate Ortiz up in the wrestling scene-
Hangin' pictures on my wall
Pay per view Sundays- Chill Faktor, Damnation, Wrestlution to watch a brawl,
I let my tape rock 'til my tape pop,
Smokin' ribs and barbecue, sippin' on soda pop!

Madison shakes her head in disgust: Ugh… What is this…

Bill Ding hops out the backseat of the drop top and gives daps to his newfound ‘homies’. He is looking noticeably different than usual, as instead of his usual Dingy tee, he is wearing a red and black lumberjack (without the hat to match).

Bill Ding:
Hey guys, thanks for the ride! You dudes are pretty cool, see ya around daddehs!

NOT a Gangsta: You got it, mah man. Keep on keepin’ it real.

The lowrider pulls away, still bouncing on its hydraulics out of the scene as Bill walks up towards Madison. She continues staring at Bill with a look of bewilderment on her face.

Wha… What was all ‘that’? And what are you wearing??

Bill Ding: Oh mah ride? That was some good people I met last night. See, my original ride broke down last night and I got stranded in this place called Compton. Met a lot of really cool daddehs down there. Seemed a little sketchy at first but mama, they were cool as Cool Whip. Took me right in!

Bill Ding: They took me to this place called Bludso’s BBQ… Ohhhhhh man…. Chicken salad sandwiches, watch out ‘cuz their pulled pork sandwiches were the BEST cure for hungry times, daddeh!

Madison glares at Bill, unimpressed.

I… Whatever. Too urban. What is that garbage pail you call a shirt that you're wearing?

Bill Ding: Ooh yea this lovely shirt, it's FLANNEL! Didn't have my luggage with me so my new friends there loaned me this shirt to put on over my Dingy tee, which will be PERFECT for my lumberjack match tonight with Jimmy and #Austin. They said I could even skip the initiation, whatever that means!

Madison: Ugh...anyway! Did you happen to see Dennis in this ‘Compton’? I’ve lost him.

Bill Ding: I did, actually!

Madison’s eyes light up.


Bill Ding: Yep! My new friends and I saw him on the OCW network. For only $9.99, daddeh!

Bill looks to the camera and gives a thumbs up for his shameless plug. Madison glares at Ding, who is almost frozen in place...still giving the camera a thumbs up. She takes a sip of her frappucino and immediately spits it all over him. The now unfrozen Ding looks down at his soiled lumberjack shirt and looks sad. Madison tosses the cup at his head and storms off.

Hard times, Daddeh...hard times. Time to go change again, I guess.

Bill Ding begins to walk into the building, once again humming and singing to “Juicy” now stuck in his head.

Bill Ding:
“Stereotypes of a Bill Ding misunderstood, And it's still all good”...

The Camera pans to the announce team!


You know very well, who you Be!, who you be!!

It's Bill Ding, he builds as you see!

He had some goals, but not to many!!!

Cuz he's the only one, who eat way to many!!!!!


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The Camera pans to the announce team!

I can't wait for the Main Event!!!

At this rate do we even know its going to happen where the hell is The Television Champ?


The scene opens a few streets away from the arena, a commotion outside a restaurant can be seen going on as a masked man comes running out, clutching his stomach area, flinging the doors wide open as he leaves, shouting at the top of his voice.

At first people think it is a robbery, until a woman comes out, dressed in a long leather coat and fedora hat can be heard reassuring people there's nothing to worry about, apologizing and telling them to go about their business.

Connie [muttering to herself]
: Now where the hell did he go?

She begins to slowly jog along the street, looking all around.

Connie [Shouting]
: Bones? Captain? Where are you?

A rustling can be heard from the bushes across the street, and a lone leather boot is seen on the sidewalk, so she makes her way over.

A single arm and hand suddenly emerge from the bush.

: STOP!! Do not come any further!!

Connie: What the hell is going on? Do you realize the panic you caused in that restaurant? That guard could have shot you....Now come out of there right now..and why the hell have you lost a boot???!!

Crossbones: Apologies me dear, the bathroom was full, and I had te take a mean Troy Sharp.

Connie: A what?

Crossbones: A SHITE!!! my dear, I had te take a SHITE!!!, I knew that food wasn't right, who serves blue waffles on a Sundays.

Connie: Let me get this straight, you ran across the street, and took a dump in a bush?

Crossbones: Aye lassie....Crossbones once went 23 days at sea without a bowel movement, and the resulting release almost cost me a leg, it came out like a gorilla's thumb...

Crossbones: I even tried giving meself the Dolittle Thumb to stir something' loose, but everytime I jammed the thumb in, I instantly fell asleep..t'was a vicious cycle...so now, when I gotta go, I gotta go.

Connie: So why did you take a boot off?

Crossbones: Te wipe me arse with me sock, but then I remembered, I'm not wearing any, so now I can't come out from this bush.

She rummages around in her pockets.

Connie: Here, you animal, use this handkerchief.

Crossbones: Oh, I've already wiped me arse my dear.

Connie: Then what's the hold up? Come on out.

Crossbones: I can't, I had te use me mask.

Connie: Ok, so come on out.

Crossbones: Can't!!! people will see who I am!!

Connie: But nobody has ever seen you with out the mask, and nobody knows your even in that bush besides me, so if you come out, you will just be an oddly dressed citizen.

Crossbones: If I come out, people could look at me, and they could think 'hey, the lower half of that guy's face looks really familiar, oh my god it's Cap'n Bones!!'....and then me secret be out!!

Connie: That makes no sense at all!! Just come on out so we can get to the arena and watch the show.

Crossbones: Negative..I not be comin' out until I can cover me face!

Connie is getting frustrated at this point, and begins to look round for thinks he could cover his face with, a father and his small child come walking past.


Father: Excuse me?

Connie: I'm sorry, it's not what it seems..[she turns back to the bush]..Be quiet, you can't shout things like that!!

Connie: My captain here [she points to the bush, and an arm extends from the leaves and waves at the pair] has had a little accident and for some reason he thinks you can help him.

Crossbones: Give me the shirt of the tiny human.

Connie rolls her eyes and mutters something under her breath.

Connie: Sir, is there any way we could borrow your child's tshirt?

Crossbones: I'll give ye an autograph when I'm released from me leafy prison.

Connie: He'll give you an autograph, do you watch OCW? He is the living legend himself, Crossbones.

Father: Really? Oh snap.

The father tries to lean in over the bush to take a look.

Crossbones: DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!

Connie moves inbetween the man and the bush.

: He's a little indisposed at the moment...Do you think we could get that tshirt?

The father has a few words with his child, at first the child is reluctant, but then agrees...he removes his tshirt and then hands it to Connie, who passes it to the outstretched hand of bones.

: Please be careful with it, that's my favorite Superhero tshirt.

Suddenly ripping and pulled stitching can be heard coming from inside the bush, 2 small pieces of material are thrown back out, and the child's eyes begin to tear up.

Crossbones energetically hops out from inside the bush, newly constructed mask once again concealing his identity.

: Thankyou laddie, ye done me a worldy, I be forever in yer debt.

Father: Well, you could make it up to him with that autograph you promised.

Crossbones is pulling his other boot onto his foot.

: Autograph, I'm sorry my boy, I don't carry a pen, I be a pirate not a poet..here, take this instead.

He reaches into the bush, and without thinking, pulls out his old mask, and places it onto the child's head, and pats him on the head with his hand.

Crossbones: There ya go kid, genuine OCW merchandise.

Connie's eyes widen in horror as she realizes he has just placed a mask placed with human excrement onto a child's head.

The child takes 2 sniffs of the air and begins to cry as dookie begins to fall from the mask and run down his face, a piece flicking his quivering bottom lip as it falls to the floor.


The father balls his fists and steps towards Bones, whilst pulling the dookie mask off his child's head with the other hand, as the child, face full of dookie, and streams of smeared turn down his shirtless torso begins to scream loudly.

: I'll f**kin kill you!!

Crossbones finally realizes what he has done and turns to Connie as he begins to run.

: RUBBER DUCK!! RUBBER DUCK!! Abandon ship!! Mistakes have been made!! Save yerself!! Run to the hills!!

She begins to run after him as the father consoles his screaming child as other members of the public begin to come over.

Connie [sighs]
: I'm too old for this shit.

The scene fades out as the pair are running down the street towards the arena as a crowd gathers around the father and child.


The Camera pans to the announce team!

I mean on the plus side, the kid does have genuine merch.

Yea filled with DNA.....Heavy on the D....oooof!




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He did it, he did it!!!

Thats a long way down!!

We fade into Drago's dojo, where we see Johnny Law on his laptop reading something. In the background, we can hear something

Johnny Law: This is some of the shadiest stuff I've seen.

???: What you say?

The camera pans over to the World's Greatest Hunter, Drago Cesar. He's seen wearing sweatpants and in a rare instance, shirtless. He's landing some hard blows to a large punching bag, weaving as it rebounds towards him. Johnny turns around.

Johnny Law: Holy crap, what happened to you?

Drago pauses and stares at Johnny in confusion for a moment and then looks at his chest, which shows many a scar from the battles he's survived.

Drago Cesar: Is from war.

Johnny Law: Does it like, still hurt? I mean, I got my face messed up but it doesn't look like a lot of people would survive all that abuse.

Drago remains silent as he looks down.

Johnny Law: No wonder you always wear a shirt or a vest. Anyways, I looked deeper into those emails you forwarded me a while back.

Johnny Law: We might have enough evidence here to cause some serious damage. Take a look at one of these guys Mugen's been in contact with; by day, this dude's an ordinary businessman. By night....

Johnny clicks the mouse and Drago looks on in awe.

Drago Cesar: Oh sheeeeet.

Johnny Law: This is only part of the puzzle. I'm gonna need some time to piece everything together and figure out just what the hell is going on. In the meantime, I'd suggest to keep doing what you're doing.

Drago Cesar: What else would I'm be do?

Drago laughs as he walks up to a bench and lays on it.

Drago Cesar: Bubba!

We hear a grunt from a distance and Bubba comes into view, licking his face randomly. He hops on the bench and Drago takes him by both hands and starts......slowly bench pressing him. Johnny's jaw drops.

Johnny Law: You're bench pressing......a lion. Unbelievable.

Drago Cesar: Who need......weight.......when you have.......Bubba???

Johnny shakes his head as he returns to the computer screen. Drago bench presses the lion a few more times before he lets him go. Drago takes a deep breath and gets up. He walks toward the punching bag and gives it one last punch, causing it to tear slightly.

Drago Cesar: This will be most exciting hunt!

The scene fades to black.

The Camera pans to the announce team!

I wonder what they have!

Doesn't matter, it wont be enough, ITS NEVER ENOUGH, NO ITS NEVER ENOUGH!!! No MATTER WHAT LAW SAYS!